May 23rd, 2002 CE

I dreamed that a friend of mine and I were in some way responsible for a monster rampaging through Vancouver. I get the sense that we'd brought it to earth from some other place or something; we'd set it loose upon the unsuspecting city. The monster was very strange looking; it had the body shape of a white lab mouse, the head of a shark, the legs of an elephant, and the tail of a hamster. All in all, the beast was probably a bit larger than a school bus, and it's entire body was pale white, like the underbelly of a bullfrog. It was charging about, stepping heedlessly upon people, cars, animals, and the like. It behaved more like an excited puppy than anything else; it wasn't angry or hungry or afraid or anything. Just really clumsy, heedless, energetic, and curious. Of course, in something so huge and toothy, this was still really destructive. I remember distinctly a point where it came running down along Granville street, past Broadway, and jumped off the top of the hill, only to come crashing to earth about a half a block down. If it had been a movie, it would have been a very expensive scene to film.

Anyways, my friend and I were quite chagrinned; we knew it would be bad for us if it got out that we were to blame for this. I'm not clear on exactly how we did this, but at some point, we managed to lure this creature into our underground fortress, and there, blow it up. At this point it became dozens of smaller versions of it's self, about the size of kittens, though the number of them at this point couldn't account for the mass of the original beast. There were perhaps 40 of them.

We managed to herd these little critters into some sort of holding pen, and there debated what to do with them. I proposed we call them "Uni". My friend pointed out that this sounded japanese, and I pointed out that if it weren't a Japanese word already, we ought to 'invent' this japanese word, and say that Uni is the japanese word for this creature. We could then come up with an english word for it. If it were a japanese word already, we could say 'Uni' is the english word, and in so doing, confuse the japanese. Anyways, after this was settled, we decided to sell the little unis as pets to unsuspecting people, and hope that they didn't get too upset if the creatures grew too big. We knew this was a terribly irresponsible idea on our part, but we just really wanted them out of our hands and out of our lives.

At some point later, I had a separate dream, in which I was living in an apartment which had the same layout, for the most part, as the basement of Greg Shannon, a friend of mine from Rockwood, Ontario, where I grew up. Greg's bedroom was mine, and his living room was apparently the bedroom of my real-life friend, BJ. The place which, in real life, was occupied by Greg's laundry room and the stairs leading upstairs was taken up by a bedroom which resembled my grandmother's bedroom when I was a kid. And insanely enough, this bedroom was inhabited by George W. Bush, the mad emperor of america, except that in my dream he seemed to be my landlord. Also, in his bedroom, there was a much smaller, separate bed in which a child named Domenik (who was mostly called 'Dom' in my dream). There was no implication in my dream that Bush was a child molester or anything; the bed was separate and distinct. I think that's just where it happened to be. It sort of reminded me of a crib, really, like Dom was Bush's baby or something. Also, the apartment seemed to be on the third or fourth floor of the building, rather than a basement; there was a window which looked down upon a lawn which reminded me of the one outside of one of the stairwells of my old highschool, John F. Ross Collegiate.

So anyways. Bush came knocking at my door, and explained to me that BJ's bedroom was going to have to be cleared out and turned into a monument for some minor, long-ago historical event, and that BJ was going to need to move into my bedroom. What's more, Dom would be moving in, too, for whatever reason. I pointed out to Bush that this violated the tenant-landlord agreement we had, involving the number of bedrooms we were paying rent for, and suchlike. He shrugged this off, implying that if it was in the name of patriotism, it was okay to break the law. I pointed out that he was full of shit and that he couldn't get away with this. He was extremely dismissive of this, and basically shrugged it off, telling me it was going to happen anyways. I was enraged, and went to BJ's room to talk to him about this.

I knocked on his door, which was slightly open, though it was dark inside. He groaned, as though I was waking him up, and only grudgingly let me in when I made it clear to him it was important. I sat down on his bed and explained that Bush was taking BJ's room away from him in the name of some minor, long-ago, irrelevant historical event, and robbing us both of the dignity of privacy in the process. He was understandably chagrinned. We started talking about how Bush was willing to break the law in order to serve his political ends, and how this would look bad for him if it got out. I suggested we call the newspapers and tell them about this, have them put it on the front page, that Bush was a criminal. "he might make a very powerful enemy for life, but it would be worth it", I said.

A short time later, BJ and I were in a living room, sitting on the floor, and for some reason, I was asking him to make a copy of a picture of Magneto from an issue of Universe X of mine, and to cut out a picture of the Beast from some shitty other comic of mine. I don' know why I was asking him this. At any event, I turned my back on him for a few minutes, and when I looked again, I saw he was cutting up my copy of Universe X. I was outraged, and asked him how he could make such a mistake.

My dream started becoming disjointed at this point. There was some kind of a scene in which there was a disastrous thunderstorm. There were superheroes around, and one of them made some kind of a reference to how only brown-skinned heroes could survive the current events. The Thing appeared out of nowhere; apparently his orange, rocky skin was close enough to being brown. There was a disconnected image of Storm floating, upside down, dead, in the air. Someone said "That brown girl is dead". What I can only call a chorus of voices sung the words "Fantastic Four… Fantastic Four… Fantastic Four… Transform!". I thought to myself, 'that doesn't sound right. The Human Torch doesn't transform. He just sort of…' I groped for the word 'immolate', but couldn't find it.

If I dreamed anything else before I woke up, I can't remember it.